Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
