u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I will die if light touches me.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
