I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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