before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
