so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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