oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
