so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
