chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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