I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize