I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
