I look better un-naked...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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