we're blogging at a bar
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
