Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
