Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
