My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
