I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Your cock deserves a montage
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
