...so i touched it.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
