We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
