Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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