She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
