For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
it's like heaven, but drunker
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
