She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
