get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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