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She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize