i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
