who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize