discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
