maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
