just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
