in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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