I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Randomize
