i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
