I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
