One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
