I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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