And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
