you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
