I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
