K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
