I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
