Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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