put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
