I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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