dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
