She is in my trunk
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Princesses don't give blow jobs
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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