There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
I'm really busy with my period
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