Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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