Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
