I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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