Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
