Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize