Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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