Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
