just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
