I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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