Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
