everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
