I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize