This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
