My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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