I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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