Hey man sorry I got all grabby
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
