I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
