i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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