Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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