Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You made out with two different species that night
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
