Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
