That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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