Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
the liver wants what the liver wants
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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