Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Ketchup is God's man juice
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
