Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
