Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
