I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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